Transitions With Jean Blog

Change is inevitable, but you can be prepared

March 7, 2021

Sometimes we want to keep things just the way they are. Wouldn’t that be nice? But in life, there is constant change, although sometimes we do not notice it right away. Those changes might be our health, memory, abilities, or the health of our loved ones.

Even when we know things are not working anymore, we are afraid of change. When the future is unknown, it can be overwhelming and scary.

There is one sure way to overcome that fear of the unknown: learn. Make the options known. Knowledge is power.

Let me give you an example.

Bea was widowed and had been living alone for twenty years. The kids were getting more concerned about her. They wondered if she was eating well. Was she taking her pills? She refused assistance from any outsiders – relying more and more on her kids for help. The pandemic only made it harder because she was more isolated than ever. She was adamant that she was fine.

Her children wondered if it was time to find a new home for her. They were also concerned about her memory. They wanted her to have less work and have people around who could keep an eye out for her.

“Absolutely not!”, was her response. “I plan to stay in my house until I die.”

Jeepers, nothing like putting pressure on your children.

One day, she fell as she was getting out of the shower. She broke her wrist and three ribs.

The family had no choice then. They went on a hunt for a new, safer home. They contacted Care Patrol, a local business that helps match seniors to the right place, based on their financial means and on their care needs.

The kids did their homework. They learned the options. More importantly, they went out firsthand and looked at communities.

They found an apartment they fell in love with immediately. It was perfect for their mother’s needs. It had a warmth about it. She would have help when she needed it and be able to have memory care if it became necessary. They brought her treasures over and made it as homey as possible. She begrudgingly loved it too. There were friendly people around and neighbors to talk with. She settled in quickly.

A week later, she said those famous words that we hear every week in our business, “I wish we would have done this years ago.”

The point is that they learned. They looked. They discovered.

When we do not know what our choices are, the obstacles are the ones we create in our own minds. If Bea had been open to learning about her choices, it wouldn’t have seemed so scary. If she had investigated apartments early in the process, she wouldn’t have felt so overwhelmed by the thought of change.

I am not saying move, I am saying learn. Find out what is out there, for later reference.

Information is a tool. You don’t know what you don’t know.

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